Monday, June 19, 2006

The Joke Is On....Me

Just when I thought I'd experienced every possible dating scenario.

I'm writing a short story about a woman who becomes addicted to dating seminars. As research, I've attended a couple of seminars, and tonight was one of the ones I've signed up for. The seminar was about how to meet people (not really a problem for me as I've never been shy) and about 80% men (which is just fine by me as I've always been flirtatious). Right away, I start flirting with the very foxy guy (VFG) sitting next to me. I'm thinking, Score one for me! Research AND a cute guy!

So the seminar is all yadda, yadda, yadda...nothing new...but the final bit of advice (pay attention, boys and girls) is on how to turn meeting someone into asking someone on a date. The instructor advises us to keep it simple using a strategy he calls, "DQD" -- Declaration, Question, Declaration:
  • D) I've really enjoyed chatting with you;
  • Q) Are you single...or Are you seeing anyone?;
  • D) I'd like to see you again (followed by asking the person out)

Seems simple enough.

After the seminar ends, VFG and I keep chatting and flirting. We walk together to the subway, get on the same train, keep talking and flirting. We happen to be getting off at the same stop, and as we're getting ready to part, VFG says, "I've really enjoyed chatting with you. Do you want to get together sometime?"

I laugh and say, "Of course....But you forgot to ask if I'm seeing anyone."

He says, "Are you?"

I say, "Of course not! We met at a dating seminar."

He says, as I hand him my phone number, "Oh, I'm in an open relationship."

End Scene.

Sigh.

18 Comments:

Blogger greeneyes said...

Oh...just...EW! Very foxy EW. Ugh.

8:34 AM  
Blogger TessaJ said...

I believe I officially win the "I'm going to die alone with 12 cats (er, dogs)" award this week, wouldn't you say?

8:58 AM  
Blogger A Novelist said...

OH NO! :(

10:14 AM  
Blogger common girl said...

I'm back home and I must say I am IN LOVE with your city. I could totally move there in an instant! We did do some touristy stuff and some "real SF" stuff. My fave was some type of festival, i couldn't figure out what it was called in wash sq park...we drank cold beer, ate calimari with pesto and listened to some pretty cool live music. Thanks for all of the suggestions, they came in very handy!

11:16 AM  
Blogger Parisjasmal said...

OH DAMN--I had such high hopes right up till the end. They always pull the rug right out from under me at the end. Double Damn!

Better luck next time!

3:13 PM  
Blogger Jules said...

WTF???

Well, at least he's given you some new material to work with for your writing!

4:53 PM  
Blogger Nikki said...

Oh no! Who would pull out the "Do you want to get together sometime?" line, when they are in a "relationship"?? Boo!! (VFG also stands for Very Foolish Guy.)

6:15 PM  
Blogger common girl said...

I'm a selfish girl...I commented about myself and not on your post. IMO, he's a disgusting pig!

6:29 PM  
Blogger TessaJ said...

common girl -- I'm SO glad you had fun in SF! It's such a beautiful city (and there are so many festivals going on; I'm glad you caught one).

I'm actually hoping he'll call so I can meet up with him and find out, "WTF????" I'm very curious (with caution, for those who'd worry!)

At least I've been able to laugh about it all day!

8:41 PM  
Blogger steveohville speakeasy said...

i've been dating in this city for six years too (but dating women), and i swear to god, all of my stories are gonna end up in a screenplay, and some studio exec is gonna tell me, "seriously, dude, i don't buy any of this" and i'm just gonna say "try dating in san francisco, and you can believe anything."

don't know how i stumbled onto your blog. glad i did.

11:30 PM  
Blogger TessaJ said...

Welcome, Steve! Nice to have a male voice! (If you can bypass the silly girlish chatter, I do like to talk about things like this as it's the focus of my non-blog writing -- and you're right: this city is full of good (er, should that be bad?) material like this that would make most people say, "No way did THAT happen outside of a movie!")

11:37 PM  
Blogger steveohville speakeasy said...

tom clancy once said that the difference between fiction and reality is that fiction has to make sense.

tom clancy must have become cynicalized in the san francisco dating scene.

anyways, my blog is at http://www.steveohville.blogspot.com. it's about whatever's on my mind. usually it's nonsense.

happy to be here.

11:44 PM  
Blogger TessaJ said...

I tend to live in the world where fiction is the perfect art medium. But obviously I'm biased!

Look forward to checking out your blog.

10:39 AM  
Blogger Ceije said...

OMG! While it ended sorta crappy, it's actually sorta funny in a way!
Haha.

that guy was such a loser!

1:53 PM  
Blogger TessaJ said...

It is funny.

Though I'm not sure he's a loser -- guess I don't know enough about him to conclude that. It's possible, but at least he was honest!

2:37 PM  
Blogger steveohville speakeasy said...

he was honest, but he was also honestly trying to be creepy too.

but that's something, i guess.

2:46 PM  
Blogger TessaJ said...

Yeah, it is a bit creepy, but I guess that in spite of my obvious cynicism, I'm just trying to be an optimist!

4:20 PM  
Blogger Julia said...

Oh gawd. I only thought this wasn't going there. Just charming.

8:47 PM  

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